Jon's the gay one?

This is just not possible. I was never attracted to Jon. I really thought it would turn out to be Jordan. I know he's married and all, but so was Elton John at one point. That doesn't mean shit.

Wow. Jon's the gay one. Color me shocked.

I'm kicking cancer in the ass!

This weekend is the annual Chicago Air & Water show. It's easily my favorite event of the summer. Although I'm only going to be able to catch Sunday because tomorrow I'm going to be busy all day kicking cancer in the ass with 1,000 of my closest friends at the Wrigleyville Crawl for Cancer. That's right, Trixie...curing cancer one beer at a time.

Back to the topic at hand...the Blue Angels.

Yesterday was the rehearsal day for the show and my company had our annual summer outing at Castaway's. It was a beautiful day to blow off work for the afternoon, sit outside at the beach, drink beer, and watch the Blue Angels fly crazy formations. It was so cool.

And did I mention hot? Seriously hot (and I'm not talking about the weather here). Boys, I think the easiest way to pick up women in Chicago this weekend is to get your hands on a flight suit and wear it around town.

Thank me later.

I understand WHY they shower. What I don't understand is why we have to WATCH them shower. It just seems wrong. Maybe I'm crazy.

Here's another question...why are gymnasts still wearing scrunchies?

First of all let me just say that all of this coverage of Michael Phelps has me conflicted. Of course I love that he's kicking ass, but I hate that suddenly everyone loves him when I'VE LOVED HIM FOR YEARS!!!!! Back off, bitches.

Now that that's off my chest, a thought...

I was watching the diving last night and it finally occurred to me why I feel a little uncomfortable watching it. Is it really necessary to follow them into the shower after they dive? I really feel like that's a private moment that I shouldn't be watching. Anyone else feel this way? Can anyone who is (or was) a diver explain to me why we have to watch them shower?

1. When Tiger is not in the field the number of douchebags at the tournament is significantly less. You know the ones I'm talking about...the guys that yell, "Get in the hole!" after a par 5 tee shot.

2. The pants really do make the man. I never thought Ian Poulter was attractive until Saturday when he wore those red plaids. And I may or may not have had several naughty thoughts about him since then.

3. A golf tournament is the best kept secret in town for meeting guys. Seriously, the number of attractive women at Oakland Hills was miniscule.

4. Check the weather report before leaving for the golf course. Otherwise you might end up wearing a white sundress in 68 degree, rainy weather. And you also might be forced to spend WAY too much on an ugly PGA Championship sweatshirt to wear over said white sundress.

5. Bring your umbrella if there's even a chance for rain, because that pairings sheet your holding over your head? It won't do the trick. Also, the moment you're holding the pairings sheet over your head like a moron is the moment Aaron Baddeley will make eye contact with you. It won't fail.

6. Camilo Villegas has longer hair than I do. He also looks somewhat tranny-like up close.

Overall it was a great trip, and contrary to the beliefs of everyone emailing me, I did not have to miss my boyfriend, Michael Phelps's, swims. They have TVs in Detroit. Shocking, I know.

I'm updating from the "business center" of the VIP tent that I'm in during the rain delay of the PGA Championship today. I feel the need to tell you that the pants, do indeed, make the man.

Best dressed yesterday: Aaron Baddeley. I don't care that you love Jesus more than me, buddy. Those green plaids are hot.

Best dressed today: Ian Poulter: I don't care that you have a Brad Pitt-esque pock marked face. Red and pink plaid = I love you.

I heart golf.

More to come.