My boxing coach to me this morning:

"Your jab is cute. What you're doing here is very cute."

Pretty sure that means I hit like a girl.

I'll admit, I used to love Jon & Kate Plus 8. I mean, it was my worst nightmare, but I loved watching those kids experience things they would never have been able to experience if TLC wasn't picking up the tab. Plus, I'm a girl, and the force is strong in those kids. However, I stopped watching the show when it became obvious that Jon & Kate cared more about free vacations and tummy tucks (not to mention bad hair and acrylic nails...ew) than their kids. And I realize it can be argued that by doing the show in the first place, they put their needs before their kids, but I really want to believe that the show started from a good place. I'm optimistic like that.

When it came out that Jon was having an affair with a 23-year-old, I asked myself, "What does a 23-year-old find attractive about a married man with eight kids?" How is that hot? How is that exciting? He has eight kids and a wife that could likely kick her ass. I didn't get it. The first time II saw a picture of her it made even less sense. She's a cute girl. She can surely do much better than a married man with eight kids.

And then I saw this picture...

That hideous Dooney & Bourke? It's so clear now.

I just spent my lunch break in what is possibly the best way possible.

Being rubbed down by a hot, European man...

Sometimes having back problems is a very good thing.

Checking out Ian Poulter on Twitter (do it) combined with the fact that it has been pissing down rain for the past month here, made me realize that I haven't bought myself shit for golf gear this year. This is unacceptable. Something needs to change, and I'm thinking that something is my golf wardrobe.

This morning I woke up at 4:00 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I went for a run. I was home by 5:30. Instead of continuing my productive morning by, oh say, coming into work early, or making myself breakfast (I wasn't sure the smoke alarms in the building had been tested recently), I messed around online looking for new golf gear. Although I'm not yet sure what I'm going to treat myself to, these are a few of my favorites.

First up are these killer blue and white pinstriped pants from PAHR. I'm not wild about that purple shirt with the pants, but purple isn't my color anyway. I'm not sure what I'd pair them with, but I really, really want them. A rep from PAHR emailed me pictures of their new line asking me to pimp their stuff, and I'm thinking she should just give me those pants for doing it. I'm not too proud to just ask. Size 6 please.

Next is this adorable white skirt from Puma that takes me back to my cheerleader days (saddle shoes and being rejected by the captain of the basketball team...awesome). I like wearing white on the golf course. Of course, by the time I'm done with a round everything has a slight brown and green tinge to it from all of the dirt and grass stains, but that's what Clorox is for.

I like to wear all white sometimes too. Which brings me to this vest, also from Puma, and to thinking I could make the two work together. I think I'd wear my plaid driver cap with it to add a splash of color.

Nike's* new stuff sucks, and that's really all I have to say about that, but I'll post some more cute stuff later. Who's awesome? I'm awesome!
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*As does Adidas'

If you haven't seen it yet, Ian Poulter (who is very quickly becoming my favorite on the PGA Tour) on Twitter is hysterical. Some highlights:

- He's posted 250+ updates in 7 days...somebody else do the math

- He posted a picture of himself driving his Bentley to the Magic game the other night

- He posted a picture of Hulk Hogan at said Magic game

- And then said it was a shame Brooke wasn't there because he would have taken a picture of her

- He posted about Chris Brown and Rihanna being at that same Magic game (we now know it was a look alike)

- And then said, "they might need there (sic) boxing gloves"

- Re: the Stanley cup..."what a trophy, it looks like my wedding cake only made of silver"

- Re: Tiger playing in the group behind him this Thursday..."i hope he sees my bum all day picking the ball out of the hole"

- "Just picked up my dry cleaning. Man them trousers(pants) look good, I had Better mind my fingers on the creases they are sharp."

- And my personal favorite: "nearly finished packing, how much luggage, its a joke. i havent done my golf shoes yet now that will be a joke"

I'm also pretty sure he's been twirting with Ashton Kutcher. What a douchebag. I'm in love.

I ran into a guy I used to date the other night. This was only one of the strange things that happened to me over the weekend. Was there a full moon or something? Although at least I didn't arrive home at 3:45am to a drunk man snoring in my front yard like my girlfriend did.

He said the look of "total loathing" on my face when I walked into the bar and recognized him made him want to put his head in his mommy's lap and cry (or something along those lines as I'm much funnier, but the 'total loathing' was verbatim).

I may need to work on getting that under control.

My cousin is getting married this fall. For those of you keeping track at home this is my 10th time performing bridesmaid duties. I've said many times that the movie "27 Dresses" has nothing on my life. Mainly because some of the dresses I was forced to wear in the name of friendship were uglier. This time around the dresses are lovely (yay Sammie). They're what Dessy Collections calls Concord, but can best be described at a deep purple/eggplant-esque color (that's probably not the best description, but I'm in a hurry). We're responsible for finding our own shoes. I found these...

Oh wait...that's the wrong picture. But seriously, how hot is he? I couldn't care less that he can't make a cut to save his life. Where was I? Oh, right. I found these Pura Lopez pumps...

I tried them on a month or so ago, and they are quite possibly the loveliest pair of shoes ever to grace my feet, and that's saying something. They're gorgeous. I didn't buy them at the time because I wasn't sure they were the right color, and the price didn't really fit within Trixie's recession budget (what? I have one). But now that our dresses have come in and I can do the color comparison, I'm all over it. And...they're no longer at Nordstrom.

So has anyone out there seen this shoe? Anyone? Anywhere? (preferably Chicago, but I'm not opposed to making a road trip)